Monday, January 8, 2024

Criticizing Criticism Peak TV Edition: Apparently I Forgot What The Most Shocking Thing of House of Cards Was... Or Did I?

 

Regardless of what I feel about Netflix’s approach to television in the past decade as well as whatever problems I might eventually have towards its breakout series House of Cards, I still remember how thrilled I was by the first episode.

I had been a huge fan of the British series the show was based on and did not believe an American version was possible. The Pilot changed my mind on that. Kevin Spacey perfectly brought us into Francis Underwood’s confidence the same way Ian Richardson had in the British version. We got a sense of just how manipulative and ruthless he could be as we saw him begin to work to put up an alternative Secretary of State to replace the one the President had named in his place. We saw him work to undermine the President’s agenda by going to an enterprising female journalist – and those of us who loved the original got to hear him say that classic line: “You might very well say that. I could not possibly comment.” We also got to see the brilliant work of Claire, who in her scenes at her charity project began to show that she was as ruthless as her husband. It was a superb pilot, worthy of the Emmy David Fincher received for directing.

But apparently I long forgot what the most shocking thing about was, according to both critic Peter Biskind and a New Yorker article about his most recent book on the subject. According to both men, what really made Underwood dangerous, apparently far worse than every antihero we’d met over the last fifteen years was that in the opening minutes he…killed a dog.

I’ll be honest; I’d seen the pilot three separate times by that point and each time I forgot Underwood had done that. Is it because it hadn’t an impact on me? Not compared to the other things he did. Is it because I’m not a dog lover? I prefer cats to dogs, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be shocked by it if Underwood had done something that a young Dexter Morgan had done or that Freddie Highmore did when he played Norman Bates for five superb seasons. There is a good argument to be made, in hindsight, that what Frank does in this scene is one of the most humane and compassionate things he does in the entire series (I’ll get to that later on.)

But apparently that should have been the giveaway that Frank Underwood was a monster, not you know all the other things he does in the pilot which I guess both Biskind and the New Yorker consider little more than ‘politics as usual’. Indeed, it made such an impression on the author that he bemoans the end of Peak TV by saying that in the future we will ‘no longer see a lead character kill a dog.”

It is sentences like this that truly make me question the priorities and intelligence of not only Biskind but critics at large. I don’t want to think I was numb to the point that Underwood’s actions didn’t leave an impression on me, but I do question the sensibilities of people who think that Underwood’s decision to put a dog down is somehow more shocking than anything they’d seen to that point. And since these books are about Peak TV, it’s worth reminding some readers and these critics some of the truly horrible things I’d seen in pilots to that point.

OZ: We see a prisoner getting stabbed among new arrivals in the first minute. Tobias Beecher, a corporate lawyer who is our everyman for the show, gets a swastika burned into his naked ass in real time and is apparently sodomized off-screen. Dino Ortolani, who the viewer thinks is the lead, suffocates an AIDS patient to death, and is doused in gasoline and set on fire in the final minutes.

The Sopranos: By comparison to OZ,  Tony Soprano’s actions in the Pilot are almost benign – he won’t kill a man with his bare hands in real time until the fifth episode of the series. Here we only see him chasing down a man who owes him money in a car and runs him over, breaking his leg and has one of his closest friends’ restaurants blown up so that a hit that is going to be carried out by his uncle there does not take place. Baby steps.

Six Feet Under: We see the patriarch of the family, driving a hearse, get hit by a bus in the opening minute to “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” Nate, who is coming home for the holidays, has sex in a restroom with a woman he met on the plane. Claire gets high on crystal meth and learns about her father’s death that way. At the wake, Ruth confesses that she’s been having an affair for years with a hairdresser. We see the ghost of the father talking to Claire throughout the funeral. For those who might have forgotten, this was the ‘light-hearted’ show of the four series that started HBO’s revolution.

Deadwood: When a lynch mob comes to string up a rustler, Seth Bullock carries the prisoner out and tells the mob: “He’s hanging under letter of the law, you goddamn cocksuckers.” He then makes sure to just that as the dying man yells: “F---you!” for his last words. In our introduction to the Gem, Trixie has shot a john who fell asleep when they were done and woke up and tried to strangle her. Al nearly kills her right there. The poor soul is the first of many to be fed to the pigs. Swearengen ends up killing a man who helped him in a confidence scheme that we see later in the episode. The episode ends with Trixie standing before Swearengen, taking the gun out and then getting into bed beside him.

The Shield: Vic Mackey takes out a group of weapons before a pedophile who is suspected to be holding a child hostage. He offers a daughter as trade. The pedophile says: “What is this, good cop, bad cop?” Mackey says: “Good cop and bad cop went home for the day. I’m a different cop.” He then beats the suspect within an inch of his life. This was done, for the record, with the backing of even the detectives who loathe him. The episode ends with Mackey shooting a member of his strike team in the face.

Breaking Bad: Walter White, diagnosed with cancer, decides to start cooking crystal meth in  a trailer. His handiwork is so good that the two men who are buyers try to kill him. He mixes chemicals that kill them both. When this ends, he delivers a frantic video message to his family that ‘is not an admission of guilt’ and then steps out on the highway to sirens, apparently about to commit suicide by cop. When this doesn’t happen, he goes home and has very rough sex with his wife (the least of the indignities Skyler will face during her time on the show)

And as an added bonus, one of my favorites:

Damages: We hear an elevator door open. A woman covered in blood walks out. She is arrested by the police and hands a card for a different attorney. We flash back six months, and see her get hired by Patty Hewes, who we learn very quickly only did so in order to get access to a witness who is vital to a class action lawsuit she thinks she might lose. She also pretends to fire her closest associate when he broaches a settlement offer without her consent and uses him to manipulate this same woman. The episode ends with us being told by Ellen “Someone tried to kill me” and closes with that happening.

I could give some more pilots that have shown equally shocking moments to that point in time – Battlestar Galactica, in addition to nuking the human race, shows a female Cylon snapping a baby’s neck in the streets; Dexter, of course, shows the title character stalking his prey through the streets of Miami, killing him and then going to his job as blood spatter analyst, and Lost has at the end of  its first half, an unseen force ripping the pilot of a crashed plane out of the cockpit and being torn in half. All of which is to say by 2013 it took a lot to raise my eyebrows.

And it’s not as if, for the record, Frank killed a dog that was still healthy. The dog, as these writers forget, had been hit by a car and was going to die anyway. Frank used to argue about the two kinds of pain and said what the dog was going through was useless. It was in the strictest definition; this dog was not going to be alive much longer. I won’t lie it say was compassionate, but if you’re going to call it monstrous compared to the things that I’ve listed above – certainly in the case of Vic Mackey or Al Swearengen – then I truly must wonder about your priorities when you are ranking the suffering of a dying animal above a living human being. By the end of the season, of course, Frank had done exactly that to a man that even though he was using him, he still considered a friend.

 For the record I’ve seen many more shocking and bloody things done by protagonists in many series since House of Cards – the opening of every season of Fargo starts with a hideous death, usually unintentional; Yellowjackets opening scene involved a teenage girl being hunted and dying in a pit  - and later being cooked and eaten by her friends, and while I’m far from Shonda Rhimes’ biggest fan, How to Get Away With Murder opening with four law students throwing their professor’s husband’s dead body on a bonfire.  To be sure, no major leader of a new series may kill a dog in the pilot in year’s to come but don’t pretend that Peak TV still has not lost its power to shock and awe over the decade since.

Peak TV has been built on the evil that men and women do and we are first-hand witnesses to their bloodthirsty behavior. Such will likely be the case for years to come. But if we’re supposed to believe that the opening scene of House of Cards represents the worst in human behavior, well, to paraphrase Buffy the Vampire Slayer “maybe it’s just all the horrible things we’ve seen the last few years, but somehow a dog being put to sleep just isn’t as shocking as used to be.”

 

 

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