My (Almost) Predictably Overjoyed Reactions To Last Night's Critics Choice Awards

 

Before I begin my reactions to last night awards, I feel I have to address the online presence which I assume is made up of Gen Z, identity groups or basically everybody who can not take pleasure in something without shitting on someone else. I realize that’s what ninety percent of the Internet is about anyway, but I still feel the need to say this even though I’ll probably be speaking to deaf ears.

An awards show is not a ‘safe space’. Never has been, never will be. And for those of you who love to mock the idea that ‘celebrities are just like us’, last I checked they’re still all human beings, and therefore victim to the emotions that we all born with.

So the experience can’t be fun for the nominees. They have to spends days, if not weeks dealing with the tension leading up to it, they have to worry about every single detail leading up to it, every single aspect of their appearance well before they walk the red carpet must be planned to the last detail, and then they have to run the gauntlet of reporters trying desperately to strike the right balance of humor and bonhomie. This is a difficult façade to maintain at the best of times; when you’re terrified to know if your name will come out of an envelope, it must be exponentially more so.

Then you have to sit in a ballroom, an auditorium or – as in the case of last night’s Critics Choice awards, an airplane hangar and maintain that façade for hours, possibly as many as three. You will be mocked by an emcee or presenters, almost always good naturedly (unless that person is Ricky Gervais, of course) while the tension builds and builds. I feel some degree of this tension every time an awards show that I am about to cover or care about is airing, and I’m just watching it; I can’t imagine what it’s like for those nominated.

In the best case scenario, eighty percent of the people nominated will go home empty handed. Then the losers have to put on a happy face and be shown applauding with their colleagues to show that they are good sports while they must be inwardly grieving. (I have felt this feeling in my gut more times than I can count over my years of watching awards shows; I have no expectations tonight’s Emmys will be any different.) The winner themselves gets a few minutes of joy in which they have to try and remember who to thank and be grateful to and, doubtless not realizing until they have left the stage, that they have forgotten to thank several important people and they will be berated by someone – usually the media – for forgetting them.

All of this for the record was bad enough before everyone was on social media: now’s it infinitely worse. I was reminded of this two years ago when Jane Campion, who had spent thirty years directing films before she finally received a Best Director for Power of the Dog in 2022, accepting her first televised Best Director prize and said how envious she was to see Venus and Serena. “They never compete against the guys. I always compete against the guys.”

The moment that phrase left her mouth; she was crucified because apparently she’d forgotten that both Williams sisters had played against men before. Now in case you’ve forgotten female directors have always had a hard road to climb and have to undergo toxic backlash for decades. Campion herself received as much in 1993 when, after becoming only the second woman ever nominated for an Oscar for Best Director, she was a victim of toxic masculinity from everybody in Hollywood. Now she finally got to enjoy her triumph in public – and she was vilified by a generation who never saw The Piano and probably didn’t even know who Campion was but who worshipped the Williams sisters. (Even the Oscar Campion won later that year was bittersweet because, as anyone who watched it knows, all anyone talked about was Will Smith slapping Chris Rock. Need I remind you what film he was nominated for that night?)

Now we have a repeat of that when a presenter, in the midst of giving the awards for Best Song, apparently made a joke when they called Ariana DeBose “an actress pretending to sing.” Out came the outrage reminding everybody DeBose was a talented Tony and Oscar winning musical performer. DeBose, for the record, won the Best Supporting Actress for West Side Story from the Critics Choice the same night Campion endured her controversy, so you’d think she could at least have some regard and sympathy. But no, everybody defended DeBose and lashed out at the presenters.

I suppose I should be grateful enough people watch the Critics Choice to get this outraged whenever somebody says something that seems offensive. I’m guessing that may be a sign the show has finally reached the big time. So I’ll try to take it that way at least. That said, for those of you who want to know what an awards show should look like going forward, please present your model and etiquette to me at this column in triplicate before the next Emmys. I don’t have authority, of course, I just want to know what you and your fandoms want so I can be prepared to tell you why it’s a horrible idea.

And now that my outrage has passed, on with the love.

After the empty tables at last Monday’s Astras, I was slightly afraid that this year’s Critics Choice Awards, taking place the night before the Emmys, would be similarly deserted. Fortunately that didn’t happen. All of the nominated shows were present as were almost all the nominated actors and winners.

The Awards themselves have become one of the highpoints of the entire season for me, mainly on the television side because there has always been a greater possibility for disruption then we get at the more conventional awards like the Golden Globes or the Emmys. This was not quite the case this year, though there were a few pleasant surprises but that didn’t make them any less enjoyable.

I must now give a salute to Chelsea Handler, who in her second consecutive year of hosting the show now gives prove to the idea that the best person to host an awards show is a woman. Like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s dazzling handling of the Golden Globes, Handler is superb when it comes to celebrating the nominees here. Her jokes were mostly dirty rather than just offensive, and I mean this in the best possible way. When commenting on Fellow Travelers, she admitted the scenes between Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey were so hot she wondered: “Am I gay man?”  She talked delirious that this was the year where everybody was horny and “everybody became horny for Pedro Pascal.” Few doubt that fact. She also included herself, saying that she was ‘a reverse Leonardo DiCaprio’ and liked her men old and wrinkled. She then proceeded to chat up nominees Harrison Ford and Robert DeNiro, said she was sure Cillian Murphy would do the same in a few decades and said she would gladly have a roll in the hay with Martin Scorsese.

She spent a lot of time justifiably celebrating the women in the audience. In mentioning Oprah Winfrey, she said: “This is how devoted she is to The Color Purple. She’s appearing in an awards show on the CW.” She showed a lot of devotion (justifiably) to Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie for Barbie, spent a lot of time cheering Emma Stone for Poor Things (while reminded us, in that film, “she was horny for everything”) as well as cheering Carey Mulligan and Lily Gladstone. But she talked the talk as well. Barbie won Best Comedy Movie, but the award was given off-screen. So she went ‘rogue’ and told Gerwig and Robbie to come and give their acceptance speeches, which they joyfully did. She also had a wonderful amount of self-deprecation. Introducing two presenters she said: “he’s a comedian and an actor, she’s a comedian and an actress and I am just a comedian.” She went into the audience to talk to the cast of The Morning Show and dealt with a storyline in which Jennifer Aniston’s character had an affair with her boss. “I’ve been there,” she joked before naming dropping the head of E! (Handler was a presenter on longtime staple Talk Soup and other shows) Handler has now officially become my de facto choice to host any awards show going forward.

The actual TV awards were not entirely a surprise from the perspective of my predictions, though there were a few. I expected Succession to dominate and it did, but Matthew MacFayden, who I thought was the surest winner of the night, lost to Billy Crudup for The Morning Show. Crudup has won in this category before back in 2019, but he was clearly as shocked as anybody.

As expected Sarah Snook and Kieran Culkin repeated, and yet again Culkin seemed delightfully unprepared. There seems to have been a trend of the nominees plucking hairs from each other throughout the night and that seemed to happen to Culkin as he went into great detail on before remembering to thank anybody. This time, however, he did remember to thank the camera operators who he said, rightfully, were among the most responsible for giving Succession it’s distinct look. Considering the episode I’ve seen over the year, it’s hard to argue with that.

Jesse Armstrong, after accepting the prize for Best Drama, mentioned the ‘hair plucking has gotten ridiculous at our table. I had a luxurious bouffant went the evening began.” He went out of his way to thank the Critics Choice awards, reminding us that it had taken awhile for the show to find an audience but the critics had been the biggest help. Considering that they were among the first awards show to nominate it for multiple awards and that it’s final total from the Critics Choice came out to eight awards that respect was more than due.

Elizabeth Debicki took her second straight Supporting Actress prize for The Crown, this time for Season 6. I’m still not sure she has a chance at the Emmy tonight, but she’s the odds on frontrunner for it this coming year.

As for Comedy, The Bear was the big winner of the night, taking four prizes. The show, White and Ayo Edibiri’s wins were hardly shocking, but I was pleasantly surprised to see Ebon Moss-Bachrach take Best Supporting Actor, considering James Marsden had defeated him at the Astras on Monday and was heavily favored to win. Like all three winners for the show he gave a dignified and charming speech (which would probably shock those who remember who Richie was at the start.) Meryl Streep was the only absentee for her win for Only Murders in the Building. Well, the Critics have been choosing her for nearly forty years anyway. I suspect she’ll be in the audience at the SAG awards, if only for moral support.

Beef was, as expected, the big winner in Limited Series. Ali Wong and Steven Yeun continued their winning streak. Both she and the series are certain to win tonight at the Emmys, though there is still a possibility Evan Peters will take Best Actor for Dahmer. But the most pleasant surprise was Maria Bello’s win in Supporting Actress. As I’ve said she’s been a favorite of mine for a quarter of a century and of all the nominated performers in that category I wanted her to win the most.

But the highpoint of the night, at least for me, was Jonathan Bailey’s triumph for Fellow Travelers. He started, naturally, by thanking his co-star Matt Bomer, and after the applause died down said: “As you know, the two of us come together” a joke that everyone who watched the show appreciates. He went out of the way to remind us of the series message of all the LGBTQ+ community that came before them, that had a history that even they might not be aware of, and how honored he was that he had won a prize for being able to tell their stories. He also went out of his way to thank his 93 year old grandmother for watching every episode of Fellow Travelers (which for many reasons would be difficult for someone in their 90s) and said he was coming with a cupper the next day. I hope to see him making the walk on the red carper and will be appalled if he does not get an Emmy to go with this.

Movies meant more to me than usual. I won’t pretend I wasn’t overjoyed when Harrison Ford received a lifetime achievement award. Director James Mangold referred to him as a ‘hypergiant’, based on the level of the number of superb films and box office successes he’d appeared in over half a century. He listed at least fifteen classics before he got to Han Solo and Indiana Jones. Ford was, in keeping with his personality, self-effacing when he accepted. He mentioned how glad so many artists now had more opportunities than they did when he was starting out in the business, thanked all of the co-stars and directors he’d worked with over the years “most of whom were in the room with him” thanked his wife Calista Flockhart for giving him a lot of support “and I need a lot of support” and after perhaps three minutes ended with, “I won’t take up any more of your time.” He was clearly moved beyond words. I am certain, like when Jeff Bridges was given the same award the year The Old Man debuted,  there will be more awards in his future, none of which will be lifetime achievements.

There was, as you might expect, a certain mockery of the critics. Robert Downey, Jr, taking yet another Supporting Actor award, said he’d had a certain relationship with critics over the years and then read some of the most horrible things they said. (My favorite: “As amusing as a bed locked fart.” He also went out of his way to be gracious. He complimented Sterling K. Brown, nominated alongside him for American Fiction and told him sincerely “Another champion has entered the octagon.” He was gracious to Christopher Nolan yet again and ended his remarks by thanking his “24 hour appreciation section and MST3K commentary” his agent and his wife Susan and told him he needed them both.

Emma Stone moved a little closer to her second straight Oscar with another win for Poor Things. She went out of her way to compliment every nominee in the category, gave another humble speech, went out of her way to thank the critics and then zinged them with: “But I’m just now learning not to care what you think.” She left on one of the hugest laughs of the night.

But the moment that was the most moving for me all night was Paul Giamatti’s acceptance speech for Best Actor for The Holdovers. I’ve loved Giamatti’s work for more than a quarter of a century and this speech touched me, once professionally, the other personally.

Giamatti started his speech by saying: “Critics are tough. You have to be. It’s a hard job. It’s an important job.” It is far too rare an actor seems to feel like he’s talking to you directly, certainly not when he’s accepting an award. Then he went through the thank yous to Alexander Payne and his co-stars Dominic Sessa and Da’Vine Joyce Randolph. (Both won prizes from the Critics Choice last night.) Then he thanked his girlfriend and his son “I can hear his eyes rolling at home.)

But the deepest thanks came to his father. “My father was a critic. And he died before he could see me act professionally – if that’s what I do. He was a literary critic. You couldn’t get anything past him. So I hope he’s proud of me.”

For those who might not know Paul’s father was A. Bart Giamatti, President of Yale and a Renaissance scholar. In 1985 he was named President of the National League and became Commissioner of Baseball in 1988. He was the man tasked with handling the scandals surrounding Pete Rose and made the decision to ban him from baseball for life. He passed away from a heart attack brought on my complications from emphysema not long after, at the age of 51. The decision he made had to have been the most criticized in professional baseball and it’s the definition of a difficult choice. He was a man deserving of immense respect. And in my judgment,  he’d been bursting with pride every time his son appeared onscreen. (Well, maybe not for Shoot-Em-Up.)

As expected most of the awards were divided between ‘Barbenheimer’. Barbie won six awards, among them Best Original Screenplay for Gerwig and Noah Baumbach. Oppenheimer took eight, among them Best Picture and Best Director, though it lost Best Adapted Screenplay to American Fiction. Most of the technical awards, though they did not air onscreen, were divided between the two. It’s looking like the fight that lasting all summer for box office glory will come down to them at the Oscar season. Like I said at the Golden Globes, that’s probably a good thing for all awards show.

I’ll be back tomorrow with my reactions to the Emmys. As always, I expect to be infinitely less happy with the results there than this column.